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(daqui)
"Levantai hoje de novo o esplendor de Portugal!"
Grief, Love and Hope
Someone I know lost his best friend last week.
It has been said that "Life sucks and then you die". In fact, I think - life is amazing and it sucks when you die - makes much more sense.
Being there, watching him refusing to believe on the possible tragedy and then finally receiving the confirmation; it killed me inside. I could not help the selfish thoughts. If I would lose one of my friends, how could I ever move pass their loss?
The weekend was running, and I wanted to say something that would make him feel... less pain. I wanted, but I couldn't. This kind of pain cannot be stopped with words. It can only be slightly bearable with a hug and smoothed with time.
Today I saw him again. I don't remember the last time I saw so much pain and grief and sadness. He seemed ages older. Expression riddles increased significantly around his eyes surrounded by dark purple circles, reflex of too much suffering, too much tears, to much helplessness.
Never before I felt so powerless over someone's pain. Never before I missed the right words to say. My heart was truly hurting, I could feel every inch of his sadness, so deep, so unbearable and so desperate. I wanted to take this boy in my arms, hug him and promise in vain that everything would be better somehow. I still cannot find the words to tell him how sad I feel when I look him in the eye.
Losing a friend, mainly when we know his time was not supposed to come so soon, is not only the saddest sorrow but also the most difficult to accept.